Restless Dis-Ability

dis-  a Latin prefix meaning “apart”, “asunder”, “away,”…*


I do not want to confuse dis-ability as I am using it today with disability, in its standard sense.  As you can see from dictionary.com’s definition, the prefix can mean “apart” and “away”.  It is in this vein that I am using the term to capture the essence of my (our) all too regular inability to know the right thing to do, let alone do it.  The word inability just doesn’t quite capture that essence.

 

Restless Dis-Ability

It’s not even noon,

And I’m worn out.

A silent but strong-willed struggle rages today.

I cast about to find what You would have,

And beg to see Your plan.

It seems the message of all  Scripture

Declares your desire for us to see you,

Really see you,

As Divine-Provider:

The Father-God

Who meets our needs.

 

We finger through the pages

Of history and memory

To find that

A sea,

A flood,

An army,

A plague,

A ruler,

A shortage,

A weakness,

A rebellious world,

A stubborn heart,

An illness,

A dried up womb,

A crazy king,

A shepherd boy,

A betrayal,

And even  death

Are no obstacles to you.

Indeed, they seem to be

Your favorite places to appear.

 

Where there is only an end, a failure, an impossibility,

You see a beginning, a triumph, a miracle.

Repair my vision, Lord.

 

In exchange for my restless dis-ability

That careens off course so easily,

I ask to rest in your merciful ability.

What a transaction this-

That you take my struggle, my strong will.

And when I offer it up honestly,

With a heart of repentance,

You meet me there, with no condemnation.

I praise you for your unchanging nature,

The very thing I fight against today.

Help me fold into your plans,

Tuck into your timeline,

And be what you want me to be.

 

Romans 8:1……….perhaps the most beautiful Scripture ever.

kpeterson   April 22, 2013

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This entry was posted in At the Throne of Grace, Call to be Courageous, Hunting for Hope, Solace and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Restless Dis-Ability

  1. Annette says:

    Thanks Kerry. Exactly what I needed to hear today. God is in charge. Sometimes I forget and I think that I am! LOL When He is in charge the potential is limitless. When I am in charge….not so much potential on the horizon. I hope you are well and at peace today.

  2. Thank you Annette. Yep. The line between personal responsibility and God’s purpose blur for me some days.

  3. Teresa says:

    love this… love you…

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